Book Review

Ryan Seacrest Is Famous
by Dave Housley
Im*pet*us Press, 2007
http://www.impetuspress.com .
ISBN: 0307265838

Imagine that Beat Generation writer Jack Kerouac didn't die from cirrhosis of the liver back in 1969. What would he be doing now? Still touring the road? Writing novels and dabbling in indie films? Quietly studying Buddhism somewhere in the mountains?

In Dave Housley's first book of stories, Ryan Seacrest Is Famous, Kerouac is one of many has-beens and wannabes consumed with the cult of celebrity. In "Jack Kerouac and the Amazing Megaflex," Kerouac has experienced rebirth as a bodybuilding guru, hawking his own line of fitness equipment. He has buried his past of books and alcohol.

In an interview, he says, "I made a name for myself and, well, it almost killed me. And it was mostly bullshit....But now I'm in the best shape of my life, selling a fantastic product I believe in with all my heart. And I really don't want to drag out those old ghosts."

But ghosts plague most of Housley's characters, whether they are trying to escape the past or capture it, whether they are regretting losing an opportunity or never finding an opportunity to lose. In "Bare," the anonymous protagonist spends his time writing the first sentences to novels he'll never finish and imagining starting a new life in a new place with a new name and accent. In "On Sunday Will Be Clown," an alcoholic clown tries to win back his ex-wife while staying true to his Clown Code of Ethics, while the central character in "Combat Photographer" tries to leave behind his life in the trenches by getting a safe job as a photographer of artifacts in a museum.

In the title story, the fittingly-named Burns is literally made ill by the fact that his old classmate Ryan Seacrest is indeed famous. Although Burns was the more popular and successful student in high school and college, he now leads an average, unexciting life, while Ryan Seacrest is making out with starlets and buying ridiculously expensive clothes. Ryan Seacrest has no worries, no fears, but all Burns "feels is a narrowing of horizons, like a bag has been placed over his head, his options locking in like train tracks, all straight ahead, no back and no turns and no straying from the path."

Burns wants to be one of the golden people: "To be blessed with no self-awareness, now that would be a gift. Those people breeze through life with their perfectly coiffed hair and their easy manner and their lame, ghost-written jokes, bantering with the contestants and making out with Teri Hatcher and hosting New Year's Rockin' Eve, for god's sake."

Part of the allure of celebrities is that their lives seem so easy. They're beautiful and glamorous; they seem to never age. And they can throw money at any problems that come their way. But Housley shows the other side of the celebrity in stories like the one about Kerouac and in "Voodoo Chile Blues: Twelve Step Hendrix," in which a still-living Jimi Hendrix has finally kicked his drug addictions and is trying for one last comeback.

Part of what is so good about Housley is that he introduces you to a construct, like bringing a famous person back to life or using a specific narrative structure, and then he flips it. For instance, while Hendrix and Kerouac share certain qualities, since they're both trying to make new names for themselves, their stories are otherwise completely different. And while the plot of "Voodoo Chile Blues" is structured around the twelve steps to sobriety and "On Sunday Will Be Clown" is structured around a code of ethics, the characters, situations, and outcomes are unique in each.

And Housley's writing is sharp, clean, and clever. He has a particular knack for titles, including pearls like "Namaste, Bitches," "Fight Club Club," and "Are You Street or Popcorn?" Often, it seems the better the title, the better the story. And certain images will sear themselves into your brain, such as Ryan Seacrest perched on a golden toilet or pubic hair shaved in the shape of a heart.

Another impressive achievement of Ryan Seacrest Is Famous is that, while you might think that the pop culture and celebrity themes and references would grow tedious, they never do. Each story is original and surprising, even the two consecutive stories that reference Night Ranger's "Sister Christian." A few of the stories in the second half of the book contain some slightly convoluted elements, but the collection as a whole is solid. And because the storytelling is so sound, the book will remain fresh even once the pop culture references become dated. His characters are always believable and empathetic (if frustrating) in their mostly futile quests to find what they think is missing.—Catherine Harrison.