When I slam the bookshelf with my wheelchair, I get attention.
Of all the things I could have been given, of course they made me the chaired cripple.
Assignment: Start at the student center and make your way across campus to the library. Use the card catalogue to locate World Philosophers and Their Work. Retrieve the book and return to the student center. You have 20 minutes.
This is a learning experience. Society kicks the gimp's ass. Have a seat and take a look around. Retrieve this book. Use the card catalogue. Do this in record time. Do this like you just finished with the gold in those pathetic Olympics, the ones even the Prez ridicules.
Katie landed the sweet draw. Some kind of reading disorder and public speaking dysfunction. She gets some typed-up speech, one page, with the letters of each word jumbled up. She just has to read it to the class. Sweet draw.
Assignment: Read this aloud to the class—Ie'v oetfn funod radenig in piulbc sracy, and so forth and so on. See, cherry pie draw.
Leave the first and last letter in place and jumble the in between words and anybody could read that. It's a proven fact.
Katie nailed it, like gangbusters. I sat and listened in my chair. Everybody started their assignments at the same time, but I stayed by the door. I could feel her needing me, looking for me. So I turned facing her and pulled my fake wheel brakes, settled in. This made it obvious that Katie looked at me the whole time. They say a speech cripple will do that when reading aloud, look at the audience member they most trust.
I explained this to Eric, Katie's new boyfriend. Eric drew stroke victim. Katie couldn't have kept her eyes on him if she wanted. He was lopsided, leg weights and water bottles hanging off one side. He was crooked. It was a proven fact. I plan to tell my fair dyslexic Katie this as soon as I've obtained the World Philosophers and Their Work. I plan to never give up, not even in a fake fucking chair.
So here I am, bashing away at this shelf figuring the book will drop, maybe with a few others. The way things are going, probably one of the thick, fat ones will smash my nose. The library assistant hovers, says I'm causing a disturbance. No shit, I say, I'm crippled, move it along.
She snorts. She's new but I've had run ins with her already, for talking too loud and making fun of kids acting like the books here are gonna change anything. She looks down at me. Ask for help or move it along.
I push air through my teeth, wish I was back there, wish Katie was looking for comfort like she used to, before we fucked, before I obsessed about her small tits and fat calves, when I knew she'd always need me. Katie should see this, what I can do, how far I'll take things.